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Teaworthy

Litigator, Mediator, Writer, Photographer

Originally from Kentucky, Tiffany discovered Skirt! while studying English literature at the College of Charleston and continued following Skirt! while in law school in Georgia. Now practicing law in Lexington, she is thrilled to be part of the Skirt! community where she blogs about being mom to a ...

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Alone Time

Motherhood has changed my recharge time.   I used to be able to watch tv or soak in a tub for hours.  And before I got married, I could devote an entire afternoon to nothing but getting ready for a date.  Now I need more like 10 minutes for just about anything.

I'm in Vegas for work today and it's amazing what uninterrupted alone time feels like. I thought I would be so thrilled to take a bath without a little tiny knock at the door. Overjoyed to return to voracious reading. More balanced to return every work email without urgency.  Excited to wash and dry my hair on the same day. I thought I would be more relaxed to have a flight without being responsible for the gold fish or the video ipod playing episodes of Sponge Bob. 

But after only a few hours, I really don't need anymore time to myself.  I’ve read a novel and two magazines cover to cover. I’ve done work. I’ve answered emails. Now what?

I have forgotten how to write (or sleep) when it is completely still.  I'm used to the cat crying out in the middle of the night, to my daughter's sound machine of ocean waves. I'm used to having zero privacy in our one bathroom (that's right friends...one bathroom) house, and the ship's quarters style kitchen where I make my coffee*, accidently bumping into my husband’s back while he gets something from the refrigerator.

I'm used to writing accompanied by the sounds of the house: my husband's music floating in from the kitchen,  the sound a wooden spoon makes while he slowly stirs risotto, destracted by the book he is reading, the clanking of our dog's collar when she stands up to shake off sleep, the rolling of our daughter's tryke from room to room on the hardwood floor.  All of that stuff feels and sounds more like me than me alone now. Me alone now sounds more like to-do lists, and working out solutions to problems for clients. It sounds like deadlines and depositions and upcoming hearings. Me alone sounds like a search to multitask and without things to multitask I'm just....bored. Or boring. Or both. 

I’ll have enough work obligations for the next day or so to keep me very busy, but it’s just not busy enough. Juggling everything at home on top of it is so much more, and I’m not sure how to go back to just the work alone, even for a short time.

I remember one old reunion episode of China Beach interviewed actual veterans. One surgeon who served in war looked at  his hands and said, “these never meant more” than during that time. He was so busy then, with his hands in the chest of an 18-year old every day.  I don’t save lives for a living.  But, I do think about that a lot and what a gift it is to be busy and to feel needed on multiple fronts. 

I'm sure I could get used to two bathrooms and the occassional hot bath.  But it's nice to step away to appreciate all of the beautiful noise.

 **Which these days I must tell you, is coconut cupcake flavored coffee from Fresh Market which I highly recommend.