blogger profile

Rhi Bowman

Student/ Writer

Rhi (pronounced Ree) B. is short for Rhiannon Bowman. Rhi B. is me. I’m a young woman– a newly wed, mother of two spoiled rotten cats and student– working hard to get out of college and on with the business of freelance writing. Trading money for words is a lifelong dream. After allowing...

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As you are

Blurry Body Image

I don't think I see myself as others see me. This is not startling news, most of us don't see ourselves as others see us. Women, however, are particularly self-critical. We are often taught, whether by friends, family, society-at-large or through advertisements, that we should forever strive to be better than we currently are-- creating the I'm-not-good-enough-as-I-am vacuum.

The truth is-- and we all know this-- no matter how much make-up or high fashion we wear, no matter if our hair is long or short and perfectly coiffed or not, no matter if we are fat, thin, tall or short, no matter if our skin is lily white or black as night, the truth is our value comes from the person we are at our core.

We are all valuable as we are, today in this very moment.

I see those words, I hear my mind rattling off this easy to understand, basic concept and yet I will still ask my husband how I look before we go out, I will still slather on make-up, and I will still worry about the width of my ass.

It is difficult to break the habit of self-objectification, to stop comparing yourself to others and worrying about what they think on days when you feel so far from perfect going home to hide out under the covers until tomorrow becomes an option.

It’s safe to assume that others are probably so busy thinking about their own flaws that they don’t have too much time to critique ours. It’s also safe to assume that such critique is born of their own insecurity.

While it is often difficult to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, maybe one way we can work to break the cycle of not-good-enough is by reminding others how good they are through thanks, praise and random acts of kindness.

Maybe if we help others feel better about themselves, we will start to feel better about our own reflections.

What are some ways other people can help you feel valued today?

Out-of-Body Image: Women See Themselves Through Eyes of Others, Caroline Heldman, Ms. Magazine (Re-printed on Alternet.org.)